Darling,
I've been emotional all week. Logically, I know you are going to get bigger...grow up...learn so many new things. I know birthdays and other celebrations will come and go and all the while you are becoming the woman you are meant to be. But this Mommy's heart is tender for you and feels that time is rushing past me. Oh, what I would give to slow it down. I finally feel like I know what people mean when they say, Enjoy it, this time doesn't last forever. Oh, Amelia, I do. I do enjoy it with every piece of my heart. For both naps today I've held you long after you'd fallen asleep. I couldn't take my eyes off of your sweet face and I felt that I could hold you there forever...
Lately you have learned a myriad of little tricks and cute things you do. I'm never able to mention all of them, even though only 4 weeks pass between letters, but this month will be especially difficult to convey the vast amount of growing you have done. You blew a kiss to your Great-Grandma Lewis today, for example. That was new- we had shown you how a couple of times and then that was it, you did it. You are extremely talented at non verbal communication. I was telling Grandma DeKorte a few days ago I think that's one of the reasons you're such a good, easy baby. You always make it clear what you want. I am rarely in the dark as to what you need and that makes it wonderful to parent you as we experience this time together before verbal language. You are standing all on your own and can stand there as long as you want. You have taken a couple of steps but only when you don't realize what you're doing. When you see what's happening, you crouch down and crawl to where you were headed. That's been the hard part about watching you learn to walk- you don't seem to have much drive and who can blame you? At this stage crawling is much faster and more efficient! Soon though, you will be running these halls and causing all sorts of additional mischief.
You still only have the 2 teeth on the bottom. Poor thing I feel like you have been constantly teething for a long time now. Your hair is so gorgeous and full--and CURLY when wet!!! I love it. You still hate getting your nails clipped and will do anything to avoid getting them done. You have gotten taller and more lean and I think it comes from all the crawling you do. Exploring every nook and piece of lint on the carpet is top priority for you each day. I used to run after you every time I saw your little pincher fingers go into your mouth but now...eh...as long as it's not raw meat or something that will obstruct your airway...I figure you're probably okay:) I feel like since I've stopped hounding you about every little thing you have been less interested in things.
We just spent the last month in Utah and after the first week when we were cooped up due to the snow, we had some nice weather. There was a play structure not far from the apartment and after only once or twice showing you how to slide down the little slide I put you up there and you launched yourself forward. Again and again to squeals of laughter you went down that slide. Later, I took you on my lap down the big one a couple of times. Afterwards I was at the bottom to hold your hand as you went down when you looked at me, forcefully let go of my hand, backed up, and, turning yourself around, tried to go down the 7 foot slide by yourself, head first. Oh, you little daredevil. We have not found anything yet you are really afraid of. We can launch you high up in the air and the higher the better, as far as you're concerned. I love your laugh as we play.
This past month something just clicked for you- showing affection comes much easier to you and you are happy to crawl into my lap or Daddy's lap and give hugs and kisses. It is so sweet and tender to watch you as you decide what to do and how to show the people in your life that you love them. I have no reservations in saying that you know what you are doing and that it means I love you. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for holding me and making me laugh. I know you, and I trust you. It is such a sweet thing to be around you as you cuddle up, something in the past you've rarely done. As we watch the different sides of your personality develop, it only makes me love being a parent, and your Mother, even more.
All day I've been looking at old pictures from this last year. I remember exactly what I was doing at this minute, one year ago. I thought my heart would burst from love...luckily it did not but the feeling has not truly subsided. I love you more than ever, my darling sweetheart. Happy First Birthday,
Love
Mommy
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