FSA

When our case worker, Christy, told us about Families Supporting Adoption (FSA), I thought it was mainly for  like networking purposes or for people who don't know about adoption to come or... something. I had no clue what I thought. Last night was the first meeting I attended (Brad has exams and couldn't come so I went solo) and wow I was blown away. Total there were 5 couples and our fearless leader, Christy. We had dinner, got to talk a little, and then we sat around for a lesson from Christy. She talked about things to say and not to say to someone who is in the process of grieving. Grieving for any reason- not just death or something obvious. One person spoke about how their sister was sad about her child going to kindergarden and not there to hang with her anymore.

I was kind of quiet at dinner, even though everyone was extremely nice. It was tough being there without my other, better looking, better talking, more friendly & open, funny half! Then when it came to the discussion part I found myself speaking out and sharing feelings that I was sure were long buried. And something incredible happened. Something that will make me go back again and again to those FSA meetings. Usually when I share something that had happened to me or us, regarding infertility or adoption, people look away and it would be awkward. Normally people would try to get away- because what is there to say? I don't blame them; how can they know how to respond appropriately? Heck, it's happening to us and we don't even know what to say sometimes! So after the first comment I made, when the whole room burst out with everyone talking at once, I almost just lost it right there. Because they know. They understand what I'm feeling because they're there, too.

And I felt supported in a way that I didn't even know I needed.

It was also good to see all the children there. Of the 5 couples there (I counted me as a 'couple'- I was representing!) Brad and I are the only ones without children. One couple had adopted two boys, another couple had one boy, the other couple who is doing foster care has adopted one boy, and the hostess had at least one daughter that I saw but I think she also has a son who maybe wasn't home. Why mention this? Because it doesn't matter how many people tell me it'll happen. That it works. I need constant reminders that adoptions are occurring. That we will be able to build our family. Seeing all those beautiful kids running around made that bubble of excitement inside me swell up and I feel ready all over again.

So, on this last day of November, National Adoption Month, I am grateful for FSA.