Mia,
Hi there sweetheart. I don't know where to begin this time. You are absolutely...bursting with personality. We got to have a day off together today and I don't think I've belly-laughed that much in a long time. I'll admit, though, the morning was tough. I felt inadequate and overwhelmed as I tried to make breakfast, get the chicken marinating for dinner, get the pork in the crockpot to cook all day, get myself going...all while you had big plans for the day. And boy did you let me know what they were: make (sew!) a new wardrobe for Dollie, including dresses, socks, shoes, etc. Crafts and going to the park and playing with friends. You listed about 45 things off in a single breath. I struggled to mentally balance everything. How do I do everything I need to do while still playing and doing things we want to do. This all comes after I read an article in the morning when I woke up about how important it is to play with your kids and how everything in life can pretty much wait so you can play all day and that is the best parenting...on and on. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe because today, after I got it together, we maybe, just maybe had a small win? We did crafts (sorry, Dollie, no new wardrobe for today, though) and vacuumed, read books and hit three different stores- even surviving Hobby Lobby with you out of a cart for the first time! We made dinner and sang songs. It was a genuinely wonderful day and I'm so glad we got to spend it together.
Some funny things you've said lately.... well, like this morning when I was getting dressed you suddenly look at my legs and say, Mom, do you have a broken leg? Me, thinking: ?!?! Ummm...no...why would you ask that? To which you reply, Mom, what's a broken leg?
Or, your new word is "medium". Things aren't big or small anymore they're all "medium" and I can tell you feel totally grown up when you say it!
A couple of mornings ago I went to get you up and ready for the day and I happened to shock you a little when we touched. Suddenly you exclaim, MOM! You're fricking me! LOL I have no idea what that is or how you made up that word but just the way you said it totally had me cracking up!
I keep meaning to mention this in your last couple of letters. Whenever I pick you up from school I always try to ask you about your day. What did you eat or did you go outside or who did you play with...? For the longest time I got no answer, blank stares, or "I don't know". I was super frustrated because I wanted us to have this great conversation on the way home but it just wasn't happening. Then about 5 months ago or so I read an article that described exactly what I had been going through. The author said that she tells her kids about her day and they respond with how theirs went and that solved it for them. I thought well, why not, and went for it. It's been a miracle! You love telling me about your day now....after I tell you about mine, of course. In fact, if we miss talking about things on the way home, you will bring it up later in the evening, typically beginning with a gasp! Mom! We forgot to tell about our day! Ha ha it's seriously adorable. It has been fun for me to see your day through your eyes, especially when you talk about events when we are together and how you felt right then. Your emotions and thoughts are complex and I love hearing about them.
You learned to zip last month and nobody is allowed to zip their own anything anymore :)
You are also wanting to be in charge of everything. Lately you've been there in the mornings when I am getting ready for the day. You pull my makeup bag out and want to dictate which makeup I put on in which order as well as which color I use (eyeshadow etc) and even how much haha. Sometimes there are hurt feelings when I won't put eyeshadow on my forehead or mascara on my cheeks, but we're working through that ;) I think it is good you are so strong-willed although sometimes it seems like a challenge in the moment. Truly, though, you are fairly easy to reason with and that is something I will always appreciate about your personality. I can usually explain why we can't get in the backyard pool in the snow and rain and 40 degrees in swimsuits (this was today) and while you don't enjoy my answer, you do listen and calm down with the knowledge that it isn't really "no" it's just "not right now, let's wait for summer". And you're okay with it and gosh I love you for it.
You're in a "Mommy phase" for sure and have been for quite some time. I will say, however, Dad has a special place in your heart just for him. I don't totally understand how this came about, maybe because Daddy was on an OB rotation recently and delivered quite a few babies, but suddenly one day about two weeks ago you said, When I have a baby I want Daddy to help me. I said...well...you will probably have a husband and he will want to help. Tears. So. Many. Tears. Absolute sobbing that there is no way you can have a baby without your Daddy there to help you. I kept saying, okay, if you want Daddy to be there, he will be. That is just fine. That was the only thing that calmed you down. We've replayed this a couple more times in the last few weeks. One of the times, Dad was home and you sobbed in his arms that you needed him and couldn't do a hard thing like have a baby without him there. I'll admit, it was quite tender. Daddy sure felt loved and while your opinions may change in the future, it made him feel very special.
I'm loving this stage you're in. Your imagination is absolutely wild and wonderful. You are quick to laugh. You're creative, funny, and kind. You're sweet to your friends and your baby dolls. You're loving to Daddy and I. Now that we have picture scriptures (sigh. finally.) you want to read them all the time and I love it. You absorb everything we say....and don't say. You verbalize what you want and you try different tactics to get what it is you want. I like that about you. So creative haha. You want me to call you Mia. Pink is your favorite color, but if purple is an option you'll pick it "because purple is your favorite, Mom". You always want to do it on your own, by yourself. But, if you can't, you ask for help and you aren't stubborn about asking. Such a wonderful quality to have.
I love so many things about you, my sweetheart. This life we have been given isn't perfect, but I am so so happy and I wouldn't have it any other way.
oxoxoxox
Mommy
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