59 Months

Amelia

I have had it on my mind to start working on this blog again for the last few months. We are now less than a month away from your 5th birthday and my heart is full, and maybe a little sad. I just can't believe at how fast life really goes. You're sweet to me and still hold onto little bits of your childhood as you want me to rock you each night before we lay down and I tickle your back, the way you hold my hand as we go down the stairs each morning, and in the cute way you play with your baby dolls and say "biper" (diaper). I see your love for us expressed more fully as you get older and tell us randomly how you feel or jump up to give big hugs and kisses. You cuddle as we watch Planet Earth on Sundays and want to sit on our laps at church. We are completely smitten with you, little darling, and the way you are growing up acting and thinking independently and yet involving us in so many ways.

I went back to work in January and you have not enjoyed this transition. Luckily, while I worked a lot the first two months for training, I only work sporadically now, filling in for people's vacation/time away. Each time I go into work it is a negotiation, or at least you see it that way, for how early I can get off to come get you. You crave to be with Mom and Dad and it fulfills us immensely to be on the receiving end of your love! We are talking about you staying home with Mom for Kindergarten (at least) and you are super excited about that idea. I can't believe it's already time for you to start formal schooling and my Mommy heart breaks a little at the thought of you going to school all day, every day. We will see, but soon Daddy and I will have to make the decision on what will be best for you. I'm writing this so you will know how much each of these decisions are thought about, prayed over, and analyzed to hopefully make the right one for you and for our family.

A month ago we had some amazing visitors- your birthmom and her fiancé! We were so happy to have them over for a visit and show them where we live, play, go to church, and the temple where Dad and I were married and where you were sealed. You seemed to be able to connect with them and Dad and I felt like the visit went really well. Your birthmom is an amazing person and I am constantly in awe of her. It has been a privilege to get to watch her continue to mature and become the woman she is today- and now to meet her dashing husband-to-be! While still a little unconventional, we are continuing to figure out Heavenly Father's plan for each of us and can't help but feel His incredible love it is founded on.

You still ask a lot of questions about when you were a baby or things that happened specifically in the first couple weeks of your life. I'm not sure if you're still figuring it all out, or just interested or what exactly, but you ask a lot. One time you asked me to tell you about when you were born and I mentioned that they put a little hat on you. You responded with, "because it was breezy in there?" haha! I mean, of course, why else would you need a hat?! haha

Your imagination is one of the biggest parts of your life right now. Probably also because you're an only child, but you play with your "friends" all the time, talking to them, laughing and running with them...bossing them around...haha. It's a blessing as it seems like you're never bored and Dad and I crack up listening to you and the funny things you'll say to all your friends. If we say something to you, like "We're going to Grandma's house!", you will turn, right then, to your friend and say excitedly, "Did you know what my Mom just told me?! We are going to Grandma's house!!!!!!" and you'll bolt from the room to get your shoes and things together to leave, squealing the whole way. It's hilarious and I love it. While you still play wonderfully with other kids, ones you know and others you meet briefly, let's say at the park, you have still had a tough transition with making new friends. You were incredibly connected with all your friends in Washington and I think it just takes time to build a new life here. We have been blessed with friends driving here, planning get togethers over long weekends this upcoming summer, as well as us traveling in order to enjoy time together and to keep these precious relationships strong. So so blessed.

Defiance on another level has entered our lives and I wouldn't be truthful if I didn't mention that somehow you have really learned to dig your heels in! You recently told me, "I know you can't make me eat that, Mom". After my shock faded a little and I thought it over for a quick second, I said you were right and I couldn't make you do anything, really. But there are rules in the house and we all have to follow them or there are consequences. So lately there has been a lot of learning what that word means and sadly, as in life, we don't get to pick the consequence. After a rough couple of months at the beginning of the year (which also coincided with my going back to work- a point we did not miss) Dad and I  are happy with your growth in this area and we will keep working on it :)

You are right on the cusp of learning to read and it has been fun to watch you teeter on the edge. You'll shout out, "what does NHYRFFLLK spell?" Nothing, I'll say. Then you repeat yourself but with different letters. Or you'll see something spelled and say the letters, asking what the word is. Over and over and over. You have a little pad of paper and you'll scribble down some letters and turn the page and write more, sitting at your little pink table. We have started reading your first chapter book, Amelia Bedelia (naturally) and we look forward to reading one chapter each night. Sometimes it's tough to concentrate or remember what was said the previous night, but it's great practice and something we plan to continue for a very, very long time.

We have had a great winter of snowshoeing, sledding, and visits to snowy Fish Lake, Crater Lake and Mt. Ashland. Now we are excited about your birthday trips- the coast with friends and out to Chicago to see your aunt and uncle. Then it'll be summer and all the amazing opportunities our area has to offer with rafting, hiking, going to the lakes.... it just shows how life just rolls forward, never stopping, that's for certain. While we are loving the stage you're in and I will miss it so much I can barely think about it without getting teary, I am also amazed at your strength and growth and look forward to your next season with great excitement.

Sweetheart, I love you. I love the way you smile and the way you are kind. I yearn to give you everything, to show you our amazing world and experience so many new things with you. Daddy and I never stop being grateful for you and your amazing spirit!

All my love
oxoxoxoxox
Mommy