I keep looking down at you and trying to take in the fact that you are now four. You are teetering on making the leap to being more a girl and less baby as sometimes you firmly proclaim, I am big! I am four! I can do this! and other times you lift your arms high over your head and look up at me, pleading to be held. Lately, even though you are now over a third of my weight, I lift you and carry you as long as I am physically able. Soon I won't be able to carry you at all, unless on my back, and for now I am glad to put that day off for another time.
Dad and I were marveling to each other last week at how obedient you truly are. Oh, sure you have your defiant little moments but they are rare and typically I can expect them as you are under an extraneous circumstance. For example, we would be walking along, and you would suddenly jump out in front of me, spread your legs and arms wide, and exclaim, can't get past! I was always able to stop my forward motion in time until one day I barreled into you. You went flying towards the outward corner of the hallway and by millimeters missed hitting your head and, I'm sure, the subsequent concussion. Right then I said, no more. That game is now against the rules. And, simply, that was that. You have not done that since and I don't expect you to any time soon. Rules are concrete in your mind in many ways and sometimes I am beyond grateful for the way you think of them and other times I hope you will soften a little as you grow. You scold characters in books or shows who wear shoes in the house or don't pick up their messes every time. Dad and I have to laugh and we just try to remind you that everyone's rules are different and that's okay.
Everything either is a game, or you try to make it one. The drive home is "a race" to beat either Daddy or the other cars around us, the walk down the hall to pick out books is also a race, seeing who can do X, Y, and Z fastest, first, etc, has become common around you. Dad and I share your competitive spirit so while we try to not indulge too much, we think it's pretty fun. I love to hear your infectious giggle as you sprint down the hall, looking back to make sure we are all in the game.
Since we have decided to move to Oregon, you are constantly asking me when we are moving. Now is it time? Can I take my books and dolls with us? Who will live in our house when we're gone? Where is our new house? You have a million new questions every day. As patience is something I am constantly working on, I try to specifically apply my efforts here. Because it can become tiring trying to answer your questions and not always easy to follow your train of thought as you jump from easy going to mundane to deeply thoughtful all in a breath. Your faith in me is adorable as lately when I don't know the answer, and say so, you shoot back instantly, Yes, you do know! I have to keep myself in check and repeat that no, I do not know everything, and that's okay, although you are rarely satisfied with this answer. It's a work in progress to test Mom's limits haha ;)
We did recently get back from a trip to Oregon and California for your birthday while also fitting in house-hunting and checking out the new area Dad will work in. In Oregon we had a little party for you at the park and got to stay in a fancy hotel. We had friends and Papa come up to visit us while we swam in the pool and enjoyed the beautiful and totally perfect spring weather. Every day was wonderful as we enjoyed being together as a family and catching up with friends. Towards the end of the trip we left Oregon and drove to California to visit with Aunt Katherine and Uncle Miles who flew in from Chicago to hang out with us. We went to Six Flags where you got to do some pretty amazing things: feed a 600lb tiger a bottle, pet a sloth, feed a 19 foot (and still growing!) giraffe kale and carrots, pet a dolphin, get kisses from a seal and a walrus, and go to a butterfly garden for the first time. As if all that wasn't incredible enough, you got to go on your first roller coaster and boy did you enjoy it!!! Your squeals of excitement were infectious and even now I smile to remember them. Before the roller coaster was fully at a stop, you were begging to go again. You. Were. Adorable. Totally, completely adorable. Dad and I talked about getting season passes there since it is a five hour drive from our new city. The next day we went to the beach and while the rest of us were fairly miserable with the whipping sand, ferocious winds and freezing temperatures while in summer clothes, you were completely in your element and could have easily stayed there all day. Running up and down on the white sand, just loving every minute. You have been begging to go to the beach for a long time and I'm glad we got to take you even though it was a little rough lol. Then we flew on the airplane back to Washington and you did great. During the worst of the turbulence you fell asleep against Dad- what a blessing!
We had a funny conversation a couple of days ago when we were talking about finding dairy-free cheese (yuck!). I said I didn't know where to find any and you said not to worry, you could get me some. Then you proceeded to ask, "can you move my carseat to the front so I can drive, Mom?" I laughed and said you wouldn't be able to reach the petals. You conceded that it would be better if I could use the petals and you could still do the driving. Your seriousness and complete confidence in your ability to drive our car had me laughing!
As Dad and I came into your room the last night you were 3 and gave you kisses, we both felt such overwhelming love and appreciation for you being a part of our family. The central part of our lives. Our joy. We love you sweet darling and Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
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